Challenge Coming! A New Start

Finally got an offer that I feel satisfied!

Applied for Jobs， Got tests, and Failed and Succeeded

ShengQu Games

Emmmm, I feel like the second half of my conversation with the interviewer was… hard to say? He was saying we are refining our building etc.

Me: OwO

Afterwards, HR tried to advocate for me, and the recruiter told me: “You need to have work in the classical Chinese style which you don’t have any.”

When I reflected on it, here’s what I think happened—

During the interview, the interviewer asked me about a few areas: my experience as a teaching assistant (which was really about communication and mentoring), my thoughts on AI in the gaming industry, how I built my artistic foundation, and how I usually gather inspiration. At its core, it wasn’t about testing my technical skills—it was about figuring out whether I was someone worth investing in.

Looking back, I actually did a few things right. With the AI question, I didn’t just stop at saying “AI is amazing.” I broke it down into different dimensions: in-game applications (NPCs, behaviors), creative workflows (assisting with design), and marketing. That already went beyond what most students would say—at the very least, it showed that I actually had my own understanding of the industry. I also structured my thoughts well, instead of jumping from one idea to another, and I mentioned my own research paper, which showed that my interest in AI wasn’t just bandwagon-hopping. My overall attitude was open and conversational, more like a discussion than a lecture—which is pretty important because it makes the interviewer feel like you’re someone they can talk to, someone who’s easy to work with.

But the issues were also pretty clear.

First, my way of expressing myself was still very “student-like.” I was mostly saying things like “I understand AI to be this way…” rather than “In an actual project, here’s how I would use AI to improve efficiency…” There’s a big difference between sharing an opinion and demonstrating actionable ability.

Second, I lacked concrete case studies. I talked about a lot of things, but I didn’t tie them strongly to my own projects, specific workflows, or measurable results. The interviewer probably walked away thinking: “She has ideas, but they haven’t been tested yet.”

And thirdly, I didn’t actively connect myself to the role. I didn’t explicitly say: “Here’s how these skills could be applied to your projects.” That part is crucial—companies aren’t there to hear how great you are; they want to see how you can help them get work done.

This experience taught me that an interview isn’t just about listing your abilities—it’s about showing how those abilities can serve the other side. Having opinions is good, but concrete examples are better. Being open is great, but proactively connecting yourself to the role is even more direct.

Also, if your portfolio is missing something, the interviewer will tell you—in this case, it was “no classical Chinese style work.” So I’ll add some next time. Sometimes failing an interview isn’t because “you’re not good enough”—it’s because “you happened to be missing that one thing.” Just fill the gap and move on.

And here’s one more thing I realized only after the fact: humility matters.

I think part of why I didn’t get the offer was that I talked too much. I wasn’t trying to show off—I genuinely wanted to share everything I knew and let them see how I think. But looking back, the interviewer was probably looking for someone they could manage—someone who would follow their lead. My “output-heavy” energy might have made me seem harder to manage, or maybe just not the right vibe.

It’s not that you shouldn’t express yourself—it’s that while you’re expressing, you also need to show that you’re someone who listens, someone who’s willing to learn, someone who can work with others. An interview isn’t a debate. Winning on “who said more” doesn’t matter. What matters is making them feel like “this person is a good fit.”

So now I tell myself: speak clearly when it’s your turn, hold back when it’s not. Be strong in skill, but soft in attitude. At the end of the day, they’re hiring an intern.

XinDong TapTap

The first time I received a timed art test, I literally cried from the stress…

Five days to finish all the components and apply materials in Substance Painter. I gave it my all, but I just wasn’t skilled enough at the time—I could only roughly complete the model… Naturally, nothing came of it.

So I’ve still got a lot of ground to cover!

But still… sending myself three hugs. Was no attempt, no experience, at least now I have a better sense of the difficulty level, which means I can plan my time more realistically next time—and not be completely paralysed or unable to finish.

I told myself, be scared and overwhelmed the first time I face a task beyond my abilities is completely normal. I still pushed through and gave it a shot after haha. I figure finishing some parts of it is better than giving up entirely, at least I tried. That “unfinished” test actually drew a clear line for me: it showed me exactly where I stand now, and what I need to work on next. So here’s a hug to my past self. Next time, I’ll be way more prepared than the first.

YooZoo Games:

Looking back, I really didn’t do a great job… To be fair, the test came right when I was about to fly back to China, so I was trying to pack while working on it.

Sigh.

Issues in this outcome:

Baking errors: The orange‑red spikes had obvious AO problems—dark, muddy shadows stuck in places that screamed “amateur.” I knew the baking was probably off, but with time running out, I thought, “I’ll just go with it.” The result looked fake right out of the gate.

Poly count was too low:The whole model was blocky, like a low‑poly stand‑in. Areas that should have been rounded were just “toughing it out.” I cut corners on topology to save time, but looking back, when it comes to roundness, poly count really isn’t something you can skimp on.

Wood texture wasn’t there: I basically just laid down a base colour. No wood grain direction, no growth rings, no roughness variation… none of it. It looked like plastic painted brown—no sense of “actual wood” at all.

The helmet was crooked: No exaggeration, it was actually lopsided. The symmetry was off. I probably didn’t rotate the view enough to check while modelling. When I reopened the file later, it was so obviously tilted, like a helmet that had been dented in a crash.

SP file organisation was a mess:Layers were named “Layer 1,” “Layer 2,” “Paint 3,” and the material groups were all over the place. I thought, “I’ll know where things are,” but when I opened the file two days later, even I couldn’t find anything… And everything was in English instead of Chinese. Sigh.

When you’re in a rush, the first things to go are always the ones that seem “not urgent but important”—baking checks, poly count precision, texture details, symmetry alignment, file organisation. And those are exactly what set the baseline quality of your work.

I’ve fallen into all these traps now, so next time I take a test, I’ll know to avoid them in advance. Plus, doing a test while packing for a flight was basically a stress test under extreme conditions—the result wasn’t pretty, but at least it proved I can make it to the finish line when the pressure’s on.

MiHaYo?

I feel like this test was pretty sketchy from the start.

When HR contacted me, they actually asked what my expected salary was. I was like: OWO

I told the HR that I would like to follow the guidelines as I emphasise more on study at the platform.

HR: Oh Sure, then I’ll write dow you want to have the highest salary

Me: I’m an intern, though? owo That’s not what I want.

HR insisted.

Then they sent the test questions about facial capture and stuff. Luckily, I’d taken the face capture elective during Loop Day at the Uni, so I could actually answer a thing or two.

There were also questions about modeling poly counts. Thank goodness we covered that in class! Thank you, lecturers! Thank you!

After that… radio silence.

But looking at it differently, being able to answer those questions showed that what I learn in class really does come in handy—even an elective can end up saving you in a test someday.

As for never hearing back, maybe that says more about the company’s screening process than about me. Not getting in might have been a blessing in disguise.

Some Small Studios

1.

There was a studio which hasn’t say anything but ask me to connect on wechat… My mom advised me not to casually add people on WeChat, especially men, since I’m a young woman.

So I turned it down right away.

But afterwards, I thought about it—this was an opportunity. And opportunities are best seized when they come.

Caution itself isn’t wrong. But in this industry, so many opportunities really do start with “let’s connect on WeChat.”

Looking back, maybe there could have been a middle ground—add them, maintain a polite and professional distance, and then observe and assess along the way. Safety and an open mindset don’t have to be contradictory. It’s just about gradually finding my own balance with each choice.

2.

Then there was this animation studio run by an RCA student.

During the interview, he said straight up: “I’ve worked with LCC students and have friends from LCC. I know you LCC folks are solid. Just come work for me!”

I thought: Wow, this senior is really direct XDDD.

I asked what kind of work they mainly did. He said animation, and they’d need me to handle modelling and such. Then I asked how many people were on the team—my mom told me to always ask that about small studios. He said: three.

I said okay and thanked him sincerely for the opportunity and for taking the time to answer my questions.

After the interview, I talked it over with my family. My mom felt that since I’m a young woman, it’d be better to go with a slightly bigger studio, and the location of this one was a bit remote, so she thought it was best to pass.

So I replied, thanking them for the opportunity and saying maybe next time. But this time, I did add him on WeChat XD.

Having someone say outright, “You LCC people are solid, just come work for me”—that feeling of being trusted was genuinely heartwarming.

But when it comes to making choices, trust alone isn’t enough. I also have to consider safety, environment, growth potential—the practical stuff.

The warmth and sincerity of a small studio are precious, but choosing where to work is ultimately about choosing the environment you’ll be in for the next stretch, and what you’ll have the chance to learn. Adding them on WeChat was a good call—who knows, maybe there’ll be room to collaborate down the line～

3.

Then there was this other company. During the interview, they straight‑up told me: “Your skills are way overqualified for what we do. We’re just doing model labeling—basically the client gives us the textures, and we compare them against standard references to flag any issues. The pay is low, and we don’t really train people.”

My inner reaction: eh? But the job posting said they wanted someone with full‑pipeline skills…?

I asked how many people were on the team. They were really honest about that too: just three. Two co‑founders and one intern.

And that was it.

Me: …Alright then.

Honestly, they were pretty decent—honest and didn’t waste anyone’s time. Compared to companies that drag you through multiple rounds before revealing they can’t pay, this kind of upfront approach is actually a relief.

My mom put it well: “Just treat it as a practice run. The more interviews you do, the more kinds of people you’ll meet, and the more experience you’ll gain.”

This made me realize that interviews are really a two‑way screening process. Them being upfront about “we don’t train people” and “the pay is low”—even if it stings a little—at least didn’t waste anyone’s time.

And the “full‑pipeline skills” requirement on the job posting? Sometimes it’s just a copy‑pasted template. Mom’s “practice run” mindset really stuck with me—every interview, regardless of the outcome, helps you learn how to read a company, what questions to ask, and how to judge whether a role is worth it. The more people you meet, the clearer you become about what kind of team you want to be part of, and what you’re actually worth in the market.

Updating Texture & Prepare for Portfolio + Showreel

Rendering

其实更多是心理压力。。

Showreel 阶段：

感谢我的爸爸， 虽然他完全不懂我在干什么， 但是他陪着我做了一天+熬通宵。

Final Showreel:

Final Portfolio:

Challenge, Sprint, Strive: Becoming a Better Me

Working hard on the portfolio:

– Adjusting the pose and redoing the fabric in Marvelous Designer

Although I haven’t had enough time to retoplogize the models and apply materials, the task of “adjusting poses” can still be done in the cracks of time.

Actually, my lecturer, Luca, mentioned the pose issue back in Year 1. He suggested I change the A‑pose to something more dynamic; otherwise, the character would look too stiff. But at the time, I was busy learning various software and handling all sorts of random tasks—plus my skills just weren’t developed enough to create a figure with a sense of rhythm TWT

This time, while updating my portfolio and applying to OpenLight Camp, I pushed myself to carve out some time and finally go back to address that old problem. I also adjusted the accessories to make them look more flowing and graceful.

All of this made me realise that with certain advice, as long as you keep it in the back of your mind, there will eventually come a day when you have both the skill and the opportunity to act on it. Notes really matter!

Then came to the clothes in Marvelous Designer. Honestly, I hadn’t touched the software for nearly a year, so I was a bit nervous when I first opened it. But the good news was, I quickly found a clothing pattern online that matched what I was looking fo. Although after following it I realised it didn’t actually work out, at least it gave me a solid starting point. And then, I managed to dial in the wrinkles in MD in just two days and brought it into ZBrush for fine-tuning – I am such a genius XD

This made me realise that sometimes the skills you think you’ve “forgotten” aren’t really gone. The muscle memory and the instincts you built up before are still there, and picking them back up is way faster than you’d expect.

While using it, I found a little trick. Originally, I planned to tuck the top into the belt and run the simulation, but my computer just couldn’t handle it, which makes sense, since it’s loaded with games, modelling software, and a bunch of Substance Painter files… During the simulation, the fabric just refused to stay tucked in. So how did I deal with the wrinkles? I used tack pins to hold the garment in place and manually sculpted that natural wrinkle effect.

This experience reminded me that I don’t always have to stick rigidly to the “standard workflow.” When tools or hardware get in the way, changing up my approach and working with whatever I have can actually help me discover my own little tricks. Sometimes, constraints are where creativity starts.

Oh, and at the same time, I also gave some of the parts a new colour in ZBrush. Doesn’t it look way better than before? Now it’s got that elegant, classical Chinese lady vibe hehe

• And finally, I managed to finish revising the body part of this model this month. Finding the time to do this was really hard… but I still got it done!

The main thing was defining the materials for each part. Take this strap on the leg, for example—before, it was hard to tell whether it was metal or fabric. In this update, I settled on fabric, then worked on the roughness, metalness, and painted in the volume to bring it to life.

Furthermore, I removed all those unnecessary wear and tear marks because that kind of wear would actually be really hard to achieve in reality, and it was located on the head / the upper centre area—piling wear there just made it look cluttered and distracted from the focal point. So this time, I tried to keep the wear cleaner and not so chaotic~

Moreover, I redid the volume rendering for each part by painting the shadows and highlights, including those little glowing parts. Doesn’t it look more realistic now? The fabric got an update, too: I repainted the volume and adjusted the roughness and metalness. Honestly, I didn’t even know what that material was before. Looking at it now, it finally feels like fabric!

Through this round of revisions, I realised that when it comes to making materials, sometimes restraint matters more than adding unnecessary details. I used to think that more wear and tear would automatically give the piece more story and depth, but what really matters is the logic and placement. Putting wear in the right spots—even if there’s less of it—feels much more realistic than scattering it everywhere without thought.

I finally understand why people always say that sometimes, subtracting things actually makes the work hold up better under scrutiny.

Not only revising textures, but also re-rendering by adusting lights!

Compare Before and After:

The updated version shows clearer volume in the colours, with more defined light and shadow. I also pushed the roughness and metalness values further apart to better match each material type. For example, increasing roughness on fabrics while lowering metalness where appropriate.

Some notes:  I found that roughness in UE5 behaves differently from what in Substance Painter. UE5 seems to tone it down by default, so I ended up adding a node to the material to control it, haha.

After adjust lightes, the greasiness is way less noticeable. Now the materials actually look like distinct materials, not all the same greasy mess.

I’ve reorganised the layout because now the render can hold its own and carry an entire spread. It now has more of that serene, classical Chinese lady vibe.

Showreel： https://youtu.be/XNOtB97Qtfk

Portfolio: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/10g2B7rqEI6LcR2EGtnjbJk0xQv2f2IO2qVk56LrlRMs/edit?usp=sharing

Applied Open Light Camp

The deadline was on March 10th at 23:59, and I hit submit at 23:52! it really felt like sprinting into the station just as the train doors were closing!

The main reason was that I spent way longer than expected reworking the PBR materials on the cyberpunk character, plus the re-rendering took more time than I thought. Midway through, I also ran into some export issues that took forever to troubleshoot. But I just couldn’t leave the Chinese classical lady’s wrinkles as they were. There was avoice in my head saying, “You’ll regret it if you don’t fix it.” So I pushed through, finished tweaking the wrinkles, updated the portfolio, and only then submitted.

Honestly, that was a close call! Looking back, I definitely need to manage my timeline better. This time I lucked out that nothing got stuck at the last minute, but if it had…

It made me realise that chasing details isn’t a bad thing, but you have to leave yourself some buffer room before the deadline.

Sometimes that last bit of perfectionism can turn into regret if you’re not careful. I’m glad luck was on my side this time, but I can’t count on that forever

Woohooo! 3.19 Get into this Camp

I’m so excited on getting into this camp!! This camp means I get to take industry-relevant courses for free, and if I do well on the assignments, there’s a chance I’ll get an interview, and then an on-site internship at Tencent.

In addition, this camp is an online internship; I need to do assignments and work for the Photon Studio. OWO

And oh my gosh, this time there’s even a contract to sign, a non-disclosure agreement XDDD

Signing that NDA made me realise this isn’t just messing around anymore. It really feels like stepping into something more professional and serious. The opportunity is here—time to grab it and make it count. I’ll give it my all!

More and More application OWO

希望有后续hh 把上海的公司投递投递~

MiHoYo’s application really stood out to me because they’re the only one that asks for a ‘nickname’ . Also, I heard they give feedback really fast, meaning they reject you fast, no dragging it out.

So why not give it a shot? That said, I’ve also heard their art test is the longest, around 14 days… Oh well, I’ll try first and worry about it later~~~

Lilith’s process is also very unique. They asked: ‘If you had 10 million yuan, what game would you make?’ My answer:

‘I’d want to make a Roguelite action game centred on character and narrative interaction. I’d choose Roguelite to maximise budget efficiency, and use the savings on core art polish, balance, narrative depth, marketing, and team incentives.

The gameplay draws from Sifu’s age system, telling a story about obsession: The protagonist falls off a cliff, stubbornly believing he’s still alive. His obsession is to climb back to the cliff top and see his lover one more time. Over time, he gradually loses his power — so stats decrease — but his skills accumulate through death, as he witnesses different story fragments across the river of time.

Items double as both healing items and memory shards. Players must choose whether to use an item to survive longer in the current run or to piece together the story, leading to different endings. In the final level, what he faces isn’t a monster — but himself trapped in his own obsession.

With 10 million yuan, I want to make a small but complete game with emotional weight and meaningful choices.’

I feel like this is worth noting down too. Never thought I’d come up with an answer like that in just half an hour, haha

SoHu Inc is also very unique. It’s the only company I’ve applied to that asks how tall I am.

Me: Is there any relationship between my height and art O.o

Art Tests Coming!

This is a good thing, I guess… except it means I’m about to get busy again XD

An HR from Century Games reached out to me on Boss Zhipin (China’s loca version of LinkedIn, but without the social features), saying, ‘Wanna give it a try?’ I said, ‘Sure, why not?’

Then I sent over my portfolio and showreel. She said she’d add me on WeChat to give me a written test. I asked, ‘So…does that mean I’ve already passed the preliminary screening?’

She replied, ‘Emmm… we submit the written test, portfolio, and resume altogether. We’ll only promote the process if you can do the art test first’
Me: ‘…’
That doesn’t sound great cause that’s not the normal flow!

But I still accepted, because I believe having an opportunity is better than having none.

XD

Then the next day, I got the written test from miHoYo. The good news is that miHoYo gives 14 days for their test, and the timer doesn’t start until you open it.

Me: ‘Alright, I’ll do Century’s one first.’

I asked for three days off from my company… and then pulled all-nighters over the weekend. Finally got it done. I feel like I didn’t do well on this test – I never really figured out how to tuck hair into a hat without moving the base model, and making a giant hat just looks bad…

Plus, because I was rushed, I didn’t spend much time on topology, UVs, or texturing. The result turned out way worse than what I know I’m capable of.

But the good news is: I actually finished it!!!

Looking on the bright side, finishing is better than not finishing.

Looking back, I think my biggest problem was spending way too long on the high-poly model (I’m not great at sculpting fabric – weak fundamentals, TWT). That took three days, leaving me with no time for the rest.

I was literally crying while working, working while crying, downing coffee like I am a mermaid on land who needs to drink water so often XD

My family really felt for me. They said, ‘Don’t push yourself so hard, we only want you to live healthily and pass the DPS programme.’

And I agree. Why suffer so much when the result most likely won’t go anywhere? Is it worth killing myself over something that might lead to nothing? It sucks. It really hurts inside.

But the moment I finished, I thought maybe having done it at least proves I seized this opportunity

休息ing ing ing

Family: Grandmother

If there’s one thing this year that made me go, “Ah, I’m really an adult now,” it’s taking care of my family and my family’s cat.

My grandmother hasn’t been feeling well lately, especially her back and her legs. She insists that her wooden chair is perfectly fine; she likes it firm, and she even threw out all the cushy pads I got her before. But how could I let her sit without any padding? I secretly placed a sofa cushion where she usually sits. She didn’t say anything, but she left it there. That’s how I knew.

So I ended up getting her a memory foam cushion, a red one, her favourite colour. She was so happy and asked me, “How did you find such a nice firm cushion?”

She’s exactly the kind of older generation that doesn’t want to trouble their kids by asking for anything. Honestly, it’s been a good exercise in observation. I’m 21 now. My grandparents raised me when I was little, and now I’m the pillar of the family.

Growing up isn’t about suddenly gaining some amazing skill. It’s about learning to notice the things people don’t say out loud. My grandma never asked for a cushion, but she kept the one I secretly placed. Going from being taken care of by them to taking care of them, I think that’s what being the “pillar of the family” really means.

Family: Family Cat

Took my family cat to get neutered

On March 3rd, I signed my first surgery consent form. Honestly, there was this unexplainable heaviness in my chest, and I really wanted to cry. It hit me because I couldn’t stop thinking that later in life, I might end up signing things like this for other family members, too.

Sigh.

The weight of life, I guess.

The waiting itself wasn’t too bad, though. I was deep in the middle of frantically updating my portfolio at the time and running on a serious sleep deficit, so I was basically half-asleep outside the operating room. And the package I picked—honestly, I really chose the right hospital, haha—the vet documented every step of Lele’s surgery, like prepping the surgical area, and sent photos to the group chat. Every time a new photo came in, I’d reply with something like, “Ah, thank you so much/ really appreciate it / Thank you for your hard work / Oh wow, thank you so much!” And then I’d go right back to sleep XD

Social skills: +1.

Adulthood isn’t something that arrives in a single moment. It builds up little by little through all these “firsts”: the first time you sign a surgery consent form, the first time you realise your family member is getting older, the first time you learn to keep it together even when you’re worried. It’s strange, but it’s real.

Taking Care of My Cat After Neutering

Even after being neutered, she’s still the queen of the house, a giant sunflower, and she’s claimed my screen as her throne XD.

The little one loves jumping up, but with the cone and recovery suit on, she’s too scared to jump down. So every time, I’m the one who lifts her down haha.

I was staying up late a lot back then anyway, so whenever she needed me, I was right there to help her down.

March 13 – Stitches Out

The vet finished removing the stitches in under ten minutes. While we were there, I also had them trim her nails and express her anal glands. Once we got home, I took off her recovery suit right away—freedom! I even got her a new little ball as a reward 

March 15 – Cone Off, Total Freedom

Finally took off the cone

October: So This Is How Offices Work

First Finished Piece

It might look simple—just two colours: the body and the eyes. Even though the colour doesn’t change, the variation in roughness creates subtle shifts when light passes over it. That’s the so‑called “detail.” And I was like: WOW.

Turns out “simple” isn’t actually simple—it’s about putting in work where you can’t immediately see it.

Then came the requirement: the roughness pattern couldn’t be symmetrical, but the UVs were overlapped—meaning it had to be half‑and‑half.

Me: OWO??

How do you make something half symmetrical and half asymmetrical at the same time? I stared at that requirement for a long time, my brain spinning until I slowly started to understand the logic behind it.

My first finished piece made me realise this industry is no joke. Choosing this path feels like signing up for a tough ride XD.

This experience taught me that a lot of things that look “simple” are actually the most complex—because the difficulty isn’t in quantity, it’s in precision.

Two colours, but roughness carries the detail. Overlapped UVs, but you have to break symmetry. These seemingly contradictory demands are exactly what this industry is about: finding solutions within constraints, hiding skill beneath simplicity. My first finished piece was a real lesson. It might feel like a tough road, but it also tells me I’ve chosen one worth taking slowly.

Have you ever seen Shanghai at 1am?

Yes, I had. Due to overwork. Missed the last underground train. Had to call a taxi.

On 18th October.

A Negative Result? Not Without a Valuable Process First

没有时间了。。。早知道我应该请假的。而不是一边实习， 一边做笔试的。。。

我花了非常多的时间 在 搜集资料 和 确认/创造设定上。。。因为我完全没接触过这个主体， 而且他们要求写实。 唉

以及 我做的真的好烂啊。 烂到我现在写blog 都不想再 写一笔了。

Tencent’s Games Introductory Course

Gotta say, this really is an introductory course: each session covers what the different branches of game art actually do. For example, what does a 3D character artist do? What makes a good 3D artist? That kind of thing.

Since I’ve already decided to go down the 3D character artist path, I don’t know much about other disciplines, like what TA does exactly, or what the animation team is busy with. This course was a great chance to fill in those gaps, and I got a lot out of it.

There’s one line the instructor said that really stuck with me: A 3D character artist plays a bridging role—connecting upstream with concept art and downstream with animation and TA. So, having a broad understanding of each discipline is a good thing

Key Notes:

1. Make it production-ready. No matter how cool the idea or how flashy the technique, the final result has to actually run in the game. It can’t just be “impressive to look at.”
2. Think commercially. Game development is an industry. You have to consider resource budgets, production timelines, and team collaboration—you can’t just geek out from an artist’s perspective alone.
3. Keep improving. This industry changes quickly; tools change, aesthetics change. Stopping means falling behind.

总结来说就是，即便是一门“入门课”，只要带着自己的方向去听，也能挖到对自己有用的东西。了解其他分支不是为了转行，而是为了在自己这个位置上，做得更稳、更顺、更知道“下一步该往哪走”。

In conclusion, even an “introductory course” can offer valuable takeaways if you go in with your own direction in mind. Learning about other disciplines isn’t about switching paths, it’s about standing more firmly in your own role, working more smoothly, and having a clearer sense of where to go next.

Watched Tencent’s Live about How They Create 《Game for Peace 》

They walked through how the Game for Peace team starts from scratch: gathering references based on requirements and then creating a full outfit. Really interesting stuff.

Some Sketches & Sculpting :

After failing another test at the beginning of the month, my mood hit rock bottom. That familiar feeling of powerlessness overwhelmed me again. I couldn’t stop thinking: Why am I so bad at this? Why didn’t I seize the opportunity? Am I making the right choices or the wrong ones? What will happen to my future?

I wished someone could just give me the answer, like solving a test question. But life’s problems don’t come with answer keys.

I talked to my mom about it. She told me, “The fact that you’re choosing to carve out your own path is already impressive. What you’re going through isn’t about being right or wrong—it’s your experience, and it will help you face the next challenge better.”

But I was still so sad. I still couldn’t to think of questions like ‘Am I really just this terrible?’. I couldn’t even bring myself to pick up a pen again.

I also reached out to my DPS mentor, Dr Miriam Maliha, and asked if I could take a break. Even though the rules didn’t allow it, I’m grateful she encouraged me. My mom, my dad, my grandmother, my loyal companion Lele, my wonderful mentors—they all wove together a safety net that caught me when I was at my most fragile.

But still, the pain and depression themselves were really hard.

Anyway, I spiralled for a few days. Okay, maybe more than a few.

Then one day, I thought: if I can’t stand myself, if I feel like I’m not good enough, then I’ll just work harder. Study harder. Push forward. I don’t know what the future holds, but I feel like if I accumulate just a little bit every day, even just a tiny bit, I’ll have more confidence to face whatever comes. I don’t know what’s ahead, and I don’t know if my decisions are right, but I believe that if I hold on tighter to the present, there will be a way forward.

So I started making time to exercise, haha.

Honestly, all I want to do after work every day is sleep XD. But for my dreams, and to make sure I don’t miss the next opportunity, I can’t let drowsiness win!

I usually eat after getting home, but to avoid getting sleepy, I work for half an hour first before having dinner. It’s been working pretty well XD.

I even started a study group called “Did You Practice Modelling Today?” and added my parents to it so they can keep me accountable, haha.

This whole experience made me realise that when you’re at a low point, the hardest thing isn’t “pulling yourself together”—it’s allowing yourself to be caught first.

Family, mentors, even a cat who doesn’t understand anything but stays by your side—the safety net they weave isn’t meant to help you skip over the pain, but to make sure you don’t shatter when you fall.

And the moment you start climbing back up, it often isn’t some grand epiphany—it’s just something clicking one day. Instead of constantly asking “Am I good enough?”, it’s better to do one thing that makes tomorrow’s self feel like today wasn’t wasted. Even if it’s just a little. Even if you’re still carrying sadness.

It’s still moving forward.

Personal Things:

Another big thing this month was successfully handling my rental contract from overseas. I arranged for a moving company to put my stuff in a storage unit, and I got the full deposit back.

After so much back-and-forth with the agency, it’s finally resolved!

I’d actually prepaid a cleaning fee and asked the agency to arrange the cleaning, thinking it would reduce the chance of them deducting from my deposit. Then they emailed me saying the cleaning wasn’t up to standard and they’d be taking money out of the deposit. On top of that, they had my name wrong in the contract—Shuhan Wang turned into Seun Li.

I was like: ???

I paid rent for a whole year, and you couldn’t even save my name correctly? And I already paid for cleaning—your people didn’t do the job, and now you’re trying to charge me for it??

So began the endless back-and-forth. Dealing with time zones, email chains, screenshots as evidence… I was tweaking models at work, working on my written test, and writing emails to the agency on UK time all at once.

It dragged on for so long. There were moments I almost gave up and thought, “Fine, just take the money.” But every time that thought came up, I couldn’t let it go, as this wasn’t my fault, so why should I pay for their mistakes?

Finally, I got the full deposit back. When that email came through, I let out a huge sigh of relief. It felt like winning a battle no one else knew about.

I guess this is what being an adult is: handling work, handling life, and handling emotions all at once. Endless model revisions at work, endless disputes in life, and in the middle of it all, telling yourself, “it’s okay, take it slow.”

Honestly, I do miss the days when all I had to worry about was studying XD.

Cross-border, time zones, my name being wrong, getting blamed for a cleaning issue I already paid for—every step tested my patience and resilience.

There were so many times I wanted to just drop it, but every time I pushed through one more round, I got one step closer to that “full refund.”

Sure, having just schoolwork to worry about was nice, but being able to sort out these messy problems on my own? That’s pretty cool too. Even though the process was exhausting, haha.

Upgrading My System

Tencent’s Introductory Lessons:

After cramming the course over two weekends in a row, perseverance finally paid off～

There was an optional final project, but I really didn’t have the time to do it, so I let it go.

Still, I’m really happy to have earned the certificate!

There are also livestreams in other tracks—planning, operations, technical art—that I can watch as an option. I’ll catch up on them when I have time to learn more about other areas. Like my mentor Luca always said: making a game is never a one-person job; it’s a team effort. The more I understand about other roles, the smoother communication will be when I work with colleagues in different disciplines later on.

Getting the certificate is definitely something to be happy about, but what I found even more valuable was that through this process, I got a clear sense of what I needed to let go of, and what I want to learn next.

Skipping the final project wasn’t slacking off(XD), it was about spending my limited time on what mattered more right now. And wanting to learn about planning, operations, and TA isn’t about switching career paths—it’s about being able to better understand what people in other roles are saying, and helping them better understand what I do.

Internship Progress

Here are some screenshots of my work, haha.

A collection of NPCs, later I also made some humanoid NPCs, hehe.

On the left is the material, on the right is the color layer. You can see that the necessary details are clearly visible，even on a single channel like the color layer.

That was one of the key lessons I learned from this project: if the details are clear even on a single channel, the final material layers will look great when stacked together. A solid foundation makes everything come together beautifully.

Speaking of working on this NPC material series, we all agreed that the client didn’t really know what they wanted, which, honestly, is pretty much the norm. The client said: “We want it to feel like stone, but also organic, and also have a metallic quality.”

Us: ???

So for this series, everyone made a basic version first, and after the client saw it, they said, “That’ll do.” Then came the refinement.

And this one actually ended up being my fastest approval—got it done in just two rounds XD.

The wolf I made.

Two funny things about this one. First, the crystal on its back. The client specifically emphasised: “We want a big pit right in the centre.” Like, very specific. My mentor was like: this pit is so ugly.

XD

The other thing: since it’s a mutated monster (the concept is that it’s been affected by radiation), the material needed to have bulging veins on its body. I submitted a version, and the feedback came back: “The shape of the veins is really well done, but the placement is off.”

Me: …Alright then.

The feedback actually felt alive XD. It wasn’t one of those vague “change it a bit” or “something feels off” kinds of comments. They were actually looking at my work and telling me what was working and what wasn’t. Even though it meant I had to redo the placement, at least I knew exactly what the issue was.

Honestly, whether it’s an oddly specific request (like “a big pit right in the center”) or genuinely sincere feedback that’s almost funny (“the veins are great but the placement is wrong”), both are actually kind of a blessing. The first one leaves no room for guesswork; the second one tells you exactly what to fix. Compared to vague feedback like “I don’t think it’s quite there yet,” this kind of alive feedback is way better, haha.

Whenever I work on the material, I put all the reference images and requirements in PureRef. That way, I can have them right next to my workspace as I go, which makes it a lot easier not to miss anything.

Stayed here for four months and I got the internship certificate, so happy!

I’ll try my best to apply around and see if I can find something new… but if not, I’m fine staying here for now. At least the HR person here is really nice, haha. And my work buddy, too.

Sketching Sketching Sketching!

Never stop sketching! Whenever I have time, I draw!

Well, actually, it’s because the Chinese New Year is coming up, so work has quieted down, I can leave on time, and finally have more time for my own things.

I think the meaning of work isn’t just about getting paid; it’s about giving yourself the ability and the time to do what you truly care about. Improving yourself is what really matters.

Cheers to leaving work on time!

Start Updating the Texture for a Better Portfolio

Updating, updating, updating owo

could found out the updated version looks more volumn compare than before.

Use What I’ve Learnt to Help My Family:

My dad recently got himself a 3D printer and has been deep into printing all sorts of little things. His latest goal is to print a scene of our family plus our two cats, sitting together on the sofa.

He used AI to generate a cute version of us, gotta say, my dad is pretty trendy, he got into AI image generation before I did XDDD.

There was just one problem: in the generated models, one figure was sitting without a hat, and another was standing with a hat. So he asked me for help moving the hat onto the sitting model.

Finally a chance for my professional skills to come in handy!

It made me realise that the most heartwarming use of technology often isn’t about creating some grand masterpiece—it’s about helping a family solve a little problem. Like remodelling a hat onto a chibi version of your dad

The outcome:

Building My Toolkit for the Challenge Ahead

Sketch Sketch Sketch:

I’ve always kept in mind what my lecturer Peter, said: no matter which path you end up taking, sketching will always be your best ally. So I’m getting back into practice when I get some time,, doing some figure sketches and colour studies, and hoping I’ll have more time to do them in the future.

Also, I’m currently watching a free colour course on Bilibili by a really skilled artist. I’m hoping to carve out the time to finish it (or just wait for the holidays if it comes down to it XD).

Sigh, there’s never enough time, and yet I have so many goals.

But maybe growth isn’t about “getting everything done.” Maybe it’s about staying in a state of “doing” with whatever time you have, haha. Sketching, courses, even if I only make a little progress, as long as I haven’t stopped, I’m still moving forward. Running out of time is the norm; making the effort to carve out time anyway is what actually makes the difference.

Sculpting Sculpting Sculpting:

I applied for an online course taught by a really skilled character artist, and it’s a live-streamed class for 99 RMB. The instructor is doing eight sessions, each four hours long. Unfortunately… I haven’t even finished the first one yet, TWT

I’ve noticed that something the artist casually sculpts in passing takes me forever to figure out. But that’s also how I’m learning so much—it feels like my brain is constantly running at full speed XD.

I’ve also realised that a lot of it connects back to drawing: you need hard edges to define planes, clear boundaries, and a sense of rhythm. There’s something really fascinating about seeing those same principles show up across different disciplines.

I’m hoping I’ll have time to complete the course, though it seems unlikely I’ll make it for the reward. The instructor said that if you follow along and submit your work on time, a portion of the tuition gets split among participants.

I might have to wait until the holidays to continue TWT.

But honestly, every casual move the artist makes is backed by years of experience, and every little thing I manage to fully understand pushes my own understanding up a notch. Slow and steady is fine—I’ll pick it back up during the break～

Keep Updating the Texture for My Portfolio:

Left is the revised version, right is the original. The main changes were in normal baking, AO, roughness, and metalness.

Take the little beads on the headband, for example. Before, there was an issue with the high‑to‑low baking, which threw off the AO and made some parts impossible to texture properly. This time, I manually fixed the normal map first, and the good news is that, after that, the AO baked correctly without any extra hand‑painting. Saved myself a step, hehe.

I changed roughness and metalness to better support the sense of volume and material quality. For instance, I increased the roughness on fabric (making it brighter), lowered it on the neck area (darker), and bumped up roughness in crevices—basically making rough parts look rough and smooth parts look smooth.

That said, I have to complain about my past self for creating so many layers—especially paint layers. They’re such a pain to adjust. In the end, I had to delete some and redo them with fill layers instead.

Another thing, this head is mirrored. For parts like the hair, I could have just folded the UVs in half, haha, which would have let me paint directly on the mirrored side and saved UV space. Next time for sure.

Even though this round of revisions took a bit longer than I expected, I finally got the head done!!! So happy!

Looking back, some of these problems were really my own doing from way back due to lack of thinkings—messy layer stacks, poorly planned UVs—and now I’m paying double the price to fix them. But on the flip side, it’s precisely this process of cleaning up my own past mess that makes the lessons stick. Next time, I won’t make the same mistakes again!

Unexpected Connection

On February 25， someone messaged me on RedNote(Xiaohongshu) asking if I’d be interested in becoming a creator on their platform, the 233 platform.

My first thought: Is this a scam? My RedNote account hadn’t been updated in two years.

But I looked into it, and it turns out the 233 platform is actually a game‑focused social app where people share guides, and you can create or buy outfits to dress up the little avatars in the community.

After thinking it over, though… I’m currently deep in portfolio updates, so if they expect regular content output, I’ll have to pass for now TWT.

So I replied saying something like: 

(P.S. In the RedNote community, it’s customary to call each other laoshi—teacher—as a sign of respect.)

She replied, “Don’t worry, we have a creator group chat. Some of our creators haven’t posted anything in six months. And if you ever have any questions down the road, feel free to ask us.”

That put my mind at ease. So I said: 

So I joined the main creator group. They even set up a private little chat—just me, their customer service person, and an operations person, and they told me I could reach out anytime if I had questions. In the main group, they post announcements about creator benefits and such. I’m mostly just lurking there for now, haha.

I’ve got to take opportunities into your own hands. Even if it doesn’t seem like a huge deal, it’s still a group where I can get information when I need it.

Social skills: +1.

Why I want to join in? From my past experience, if an opportunity comes your way, you grab it. Even if it’s just joining a group chat and lurking, as long as you know there might be useful info in there, it’s worth it.

Use What I’ve Learnt for My Family:

This was a birthday gift for my mom, made in collaboration with my dad. My dad had bought a 3D printer a while back. I’m currently in Shanghai while my parents are in New Zealand, so sending physical gifts isn’t very convenient. Since I can do 3D modelling, I built a little bear holding a “Happy Birthday” sign for her, as my mom absolutely loves bears.

Dad went the extra mile, figuring out how to do two-colour printing, and his gift is a heart‑shaped stand—Mom’s favourite shape—to hold the roses he grew for her.

It makes me really happy that the skills I’ve learned can do more than just earn money; they can bring joy to my family.

There was a small hiccup with the print, though. The apricot blossoms I added as decoration (Mom’s birthday is in February, and in Chinese tradition, the February flower is the apricot blossom) ended up being too small and delicate to print properly, so I had to leave them out.

Lesson learned for next time: 1) make it clear and not too tiny, 2) split it into separate parts. Practice really does teach you XD

This whole experience reminded me that the most beautiful thing about technology isn’t how impressive it can be, it’s the way it can bridge distance and let you be part of your family’s lives.

Modelling isn’t just for portfolios and projects; it can also be a gift, a token of care. And that apricot blossom that didn’t make it onto the print taught me something too: when you’re designing, you have to think about how it’ll actually be made. That’s what a real closed loop looks like.

Work Life Balance

Happy Chinese New Year！

My aunt and I made plans to go pray at the City God Temple and check out the lantern festival! Honestly, the City God Temple has the most festive atmosphere in Shanghai XD.

My uncle was supposed to come too, but he had to work over the New Year.

Sigh—ever since starting my internship, I’ve really come to understand what people mean when they say “that’s just how adult life is.”

Sigh.

After paying our respects at the temple and praying for our family, my aunt and I agreed that since it was way too crowded, we’d skip eating at the temple and head to Xujiahui instead. Great food, happy times!

Adult life really does come with a lot of “nothing we can do about it”—like working through the New Year, or crowds making it impossible to enjoy a nice meal.

But looking at it another way, the time you manage to carve out and the people you get to share a meal with become that much more precious. And honestly, knowing when to steer clear of the crowds and find another place to have a good time—that’s a kind of adult wisdom too XD.

[Extras] Interesting & Warm Things happened during DPS Placement Year

Side Quest #1: A Heart on My Cup 2025.11.28

Ordered milktea with my friend in my internship period at Paperdog Studio, who’s also an intern. She chose the ice one, I chose the hot one. Suddenly, she handed me something, it was the ribbon from her cup for the iced milk tea. She bent it into a small heart shape and said, ‘A heart for you~’

I froze for a moment, then smiled back. And then I stuck it onto the lid of my own milk tea.

Yes, life as an intern, especially with long commute time and long working time, can easily make people feel exhausted, but sometimes, a small warm thing is all it takes to brighten the whole day.

Side Quest #2: My Furry Companion 2025.11.30

Most weekends, I end up spending a lot of time in bed, sometimes from physical fatigue, other times just emotional exhaustion. The kind that doesn’t always have a clear name, but still weighs me down.

And then there’s LeLe, whose name means “happiness” in Chinese, a lovely little cat who lives with my grandma.

She always joins me.
No drama. No meowing. Just a quiet hop onto the bed, curling up right beside me, and when I wake up, she’s still there.

Steady, warm, and peaceful. Like a little anchor point, reminding me that rest is not failure but a part of the process.

My weekends may be quiet, but with her beside me, they feel…worthwhile.

Of course, my weekend isn’t just about sleeping.

When I get some energy and sit down to work, she transforms into a full-time desk invader. She keeps stepping on my keyboard, chaotic things like ‘zzzzzrrrrgwq3ht32t’, but I never worried about it because I always hit save before she climbed on my laptop XDDD

She’s not just a cat. She’s my fluffiest co-worker, my weekend nap partner, and my emotional support loaf during this messy, growing year.

I may not always know where I’m heading, but having her curled up next to me makes the pause feel okay

Side Quest #3: Cats in the Paper Dog Studio

Side Quest #4: Food Shared from Friends in My Internship Period

Side Quest #5: Beautiful Landscape where I was Interning

Side Quest #6: Food!

Side Quest #7: Milktea

Slowly update the environment and self-grow

November for me is not bad, not good, did change, did grow, and that’s enough.

Submission and Naming Conventions

Ahhhhh—so that’s how it works!

1. Follow naming conventions.
2. Stay organised in Substance Painter, too, assign different colours to different material groups. It helps others, and it helps yourself.
3. Also, properly name the maps you import into SP—like “normal,” “normal_JiRouFaXian,” “normal_texture.”

Better late than never, haha.

Learnt More Things

Happy Happy!

Communication & Relationship

Event 1: The Saturday Overtime

We got asked to come in on Saturday. A batch of work from other people was apparently way off, so the three of us (me, my buddy WenYi and Liang ) were told to stay behind and help fix it.

When the message came through, we had already clocked out and were walking out of the building. The three of us just looked at each other. There we stood, huddled in our coats against the November Shanghai wind, discussing for a good twenty minutes whether to actually go back XDDD.

I had to take my grandmother to a doctor’s appointment over the weekend—it had been scheduled way in advance, and I couldn’t move it, so I politely declined. The team lead was pretty understanding; he just said, “No worries, take care of your stuff.”

My work buddy leaned over and whispered, “You said no?” I nodded. Her eyes lit up, and she said she’d bail too, haha. She was going back home on Saturday for her mom’s birthday. So the two of us slipped away, both feeling like we’d narrowly dodged a bullet.

That left Liang as the only one who went in. He’s from Guangdong and lives alone in Shanghai, with no pressing reason to head home, so he didn’t have a good excuse to bow out.

Looking back, this really wasn’t that hard to communicate, haha. The hardest part was just taking that first step. It felt so stressful before I spoke up, but afterwards, the world didn’t collapse.

Social skills +1.

Wish happy birthday to my buddy’s mom.

Social skills: +1

This made me realise that so many of those “I’m too embarrassed to say no” moments at work are really just me blowing things out of proportion in my head. You have your own things going on, and other people have their lives, too.

As long as your reason is genuine and reasonable, most people will understand. Once you take that first step and say no, you start to see that boundaries aren’t built by silently enduring—they’re built through communication, one conversation at a time

事件 2：

Ahhhhhh—my supervisor suddenly messaged: “Why is the folder you sent yesterday empty?”

Me: OWO?!!!

My mind went completely blank. I thought, no way—I definitely checked before sending. Did the upload fail? Did I somehow miss the files? I nearly jumped out of my chair.

Turns out, my supervisor had just opened the wrong folder…

Here’s what happened: the folder contained older versions with names like “XX_20251116” and “XX_20251113_submit.” Even though the link I sent clearly pointed to “2026_Tijiao” (meaning “2026_Submission”), my supervisor probably saw the folders with “submit” in the name and clicked on one of those—only to find it empty, and immediately thought I’d sent nothing at all.

EMMMMMM…

Well.

It was a misunderstanding, but it definitely showed me there’s room for improvement in how I name and organise my folders.

To prevent this from happening again, I reorganised the folder structure—archived the old versions into a subdirectory, left only the latest version at the root, and made the naming even more straightforward.

Hopefully that saves me from getting startled into a cold sweat next time XDDD.

Honestly, a lot of “communication misunderstandings” don’t happen because someone was careless—they happen because the way information is presented isn’t quite foolproof. You think you’ve made it clear enough, but other people will interpret it through their own habits.

So instead of explaining afterwards, it’s better to think ahead from the perspective of “how will the other person see this?” and make the path a little wider and a little straighter. That way, you save time on explanations and cut down on those heart-stopping moments.

DPS Related:

Since I couldn’t watch the livestream—overtime TWT.

Come on, when was the last time I left work on time?

It’s been so long since I’ve actually left the office at 7 PM. My internship buddy Liang even joked that I’ve never worked overtime—because in his book, it doesn’t count as overtime unless you stay past 10 PM XD.

Today was another day of nonstop revisions. By the time I finally wrapped up and checked my phone, the livestream had already ended, with just a quiet little message on the screen saying “Replay Available.”

Well… replay it is.

But looking at it from another angle, watching the replay has its perks too—you can pause whenever you want, rewind and rewatch sections, and take screenshots for notes. I basically screenshot every important part, haha.

Sure, you miss out on the live interaction, but the content is still all there.

Maybe being an adult just means the pace can be a little slower, the approach a little more roundabout—but as long as you haven’t stopped, you’re still moving forward.

Get into Tencent Games Introductory Course！

Even though it’s already the end of the month, thanks to all sorts of reasons—okay, mostly because after overtime I just want to sleep when I get home—I’ve only managed to finish the first lesson, the one about Tencent’s company introduction.

On the surface, it feels like slow progress. But I know this lesson is crucial. From my past interview experiences, I’ve noticed that interviewers often ask about “company philosophy” type things, and they go really deep. Questions like: “How familiar are you with XXX project at this company?” “What do you think is the core concept behind that project?” “If you were working on it, what would you do?”

You can’t just cram for that kind of question. You really need to understand what the company does, why they do it, and where they stand in the industry.

So even though the first lesson was just an “introduction,” for me it was actually filling a gap that came up in my previous interviews. The pace might be slow, but at least I’m heading in the right direction. Still, I really need to pick up the speed.

Honest thought: I hate overtime!

Booming Tech – New Opportunity?!

我还记得，那是快下班的时候，我突然接到一个电话。

我第一反应是骚扰电话，但看了一眼，没有被标记，就接了。电话那头是一个女声，听着特别利落、特别严肃，上来就问：“你是王淑涵吗？”

我说是的，请问有什么事情吗？——当时我脑子里已经在想，是不是我哪里出问题了，还是投递出了什么差错。

然后她说：“我是不鸣科技的，之前你投递的，有人把你捞起来了。”

我：！！！

不鸣科技是做电脑写实游戏的，还有自己的引擎开发，很厉害的一家公司哎！

当时我整个人都有点懵，挂了电话之后才慢慢反应过来。然后我在 Boss 直聘上找到了那位女士的名字，给她发了消息，说昨天没反应过来，补充了一下我目前正在做的项目是《火炬之光》，再次感谢等等。

然后我们互换了微信。

接下来就是面试啦。为此我还专门下载了飞书 XD

天哪，面试那天，三个人面我一个，还是在会议室里面。一个明显是 HR，一个像是记录员，还有一个看着像主管的人。那个主管一直在问我设计方面的问题，问得还挺细的。

其中一个问题是：“自己评价一下自己的模型，给几分？满分10分。”

我说：6分。

他：“那你讲讲，每一分扣在哪里？”

我老实交代：1分扣在由于时间问题没来得及把辫子做成 Xgen；1分扣在材质没有清晰表达块面——粗糙度和金属度那块处理得不够到位；1分扣在材质整体表达不够清晰；还有1分扣在设计上没有尽善尽美——我没有考虑过，如果这个角色没有披风该怎么活动，生活中如果没有手臂又该怎么活动。

我说到“1分扣在设计上”的时候，他明显开心了一些，眼睛都亮了一下。

然后面试完，他问我愿不愿意转岗去做概念设计。

我：WOW！

不过要笔试。

唉。

虽然又要笔试很累，但能被看见、被问“愿不愿意试试别的方向”，本身就已经是一种认可了！ 而且是概念设计哎！ 我最喜欢的方向！！

New Connection!!

A few days ago, I liked a post from a really talented artist on the platform—his stylized 3D characters were absolutely amazing.

Then, out of nowhere, he actually added me!

I clicked on his profile and, WOW, he’d worked on Fortnite characters! That feeling of “the person I just liked is literally industry top-tier” hit me instantly XDDD.

Honestly, being added by a big-name artist might not be earth-shattering in the grand scheme of things. But for me, it felt like standing in the audience clapping, and suddenly the person on stage turned around and gave me a little nod.

It’s wild. You never know who’s on the other side of the screen noticing you, or which random like might make someone amazing take a peek at your profile. So just keep putting work out there, keep showing up, keep appreciating the good stuff. Leave the rest to fate.

My Life – Grandmother

Took my grandmother to the hospital. When I was little, my family took me to the hospital. Now I’m the one taking them. Time really flies.

Watching her get her blood drawn was tough: her veins are hard to find, so they had to poke her multiple times… I couldn’t even look. It hurts me to watch, and there was nothing I could do. I felt dizzy just seeing it.Even when I’m the one getting poked, I don’t feel this way. I just stood there with my back turned, holding her bag.

Sigh.

Her legs aren’t great, so my main job was running errands and being a “human walking stick” haha. Since we weren’t familiar with this hospital, every time I needed to take her from A to B, I’d run ahead first to find the quickest route—so she wouldn’t have to take extra steps because of me getting lost.

Good news—nothing serious. Just a minor stomach issue.

Came home and crashed immediately XD. The hospital was huge, but I’m just glad she’s okay. That’s all that matters.

Honestly, the hardest part about accompanying a family member to the hospital isn’t the running around—it’s the knot in your stomach the whole time. But the moment the doctor says “nothing serious,” every bit of exhaustion feels worth it.

My Life – Family – Cat

Took my little companion, Lele, to the vet for an antibody test to see if she’s ready for neutering. First time using the carrier and she was a bit nervous owo.

While waiting, I met another pet parent who was there to get their cat neutered. His cat was super outgoing—apparently, he even takes it for walks on a leash, just like a dog.

I looked at his Abyssinian cat and quietly thought to myself: So adorable! I’ve actually thought about leash-training my own cat, but then I realised， next year I’ll be going back to the UK for school, and my grandmother’s legs aren’t great. If Lele got used to going out at the same time every day, that’d just be one more thing for Grandma to deal with.

So… No.

But seriously, that Abyssinian cat was so friendly and cute! XD

Lele’s first checkup: she was so well-behaved! The vet said she’s still a bit thin, so we’ll wait a few more months before moving forward.

Cute Animal

 ran into an adorable dog outside a milk tea shop. I asked the her familiy (the owner)if I could take a photo, and they even got the dog’s attention so I could get a nice front-facing shot~

Now as the weather’s getting colder and Lele’s gotten more comfortable with me, she’s finally willing to sleep in my bed with me

Emotional Wave I Rode Through

I really hate flashbacks

Every time they pop up—well, okay, they’re not completely out of nowhere, but my brain somehow links completely normal things to unpleasant experiences from the past. Even something like singing can instantly drag me down into a depressed state, like I’m being pulled back to that time. My mind goes blank, I freeze, and I can’t do anything.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed that a busier life has made these episodes happen less often. Makes me happy! I guess that’s the one upside of overtime—being too busy to let your mind wander. When your attention is filled with work, it ends up being a kind of unintentional “protective mechanism” XD